The Conical Glass: Changing views

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Changing views

Whenever I pause and look out my office window these days, I think: In a couple weeks, this won't be my view anymore. It's not a terribly exciting view -- I can see two gas stations and two mini-storage places, the highway, some houses, and a bunch of eucalyptus trees -- but for ten years, it's been my view. Everything is making me nostalgic all of a sudden, from the diligent but decidedly amateur sound of the kid next door who practices his violin for an hour every afternoon, to the hum of the custodian vacuuming the hall first thing Tuesday morning. My new view will be much more intimate: a brick patio, trees and other greenery, visible through a set of French doors. The garden is surrounded by a tall fence. I'm moving from a very public sphere to a far more private one. On warm days, the sound of children playing Marco Polo in the pool will no longer carry up to my room.

Unlike a lot of people who live in apartment buildings, I always really like smelling the cooking odors that waft through the halls; some weekend mornings, I'd take the dog out and it would smell like bacon and I would reflexively feel my mouth start to water, even though I haven't eaten bacon in 20 years. A few days ago, I stepped into the elevator (I cannot bring myself to feel nostalgic about the elevator. I will not miss the elevator.) and was hit by a slightly perfumey smell and was instantly overwhelmed by an image: my grandmother, my dad's mom, has arrived for a visit and I bend down to give her a hug. The air smelled just like her and for a moment, I felt her presence. That's never happened to me before. I wanted to stay in the elevator and keep riding up and down, but I had places to go and besides, it would have seemed awfully strange if someone else had gotten on and there I was, sniffing the air.

I've told a few people that I'm moving and so many of them say the same thing: "Oh, I hate moving." My grandmother stayed in her home for over 60 years and died there at the age of 91; my parents have been in theirs for about 40. I knew I didn't want to stay in this condo for another 50 years. I wanted a little yard for Hobie to run around in and where I could hang up my laundry, Joe wanted to be closer to his office, and it will be an enormous relief not to have to ride up two elevators and walk down two long hallways to get from our car to our front door. But I think it's not just the physical part of moving, packing up all of your stuff and putting it in a truck, that's difficult; it's getting used to a whole new environment, new neighbors with their quirks and customs.

When we were looking for a house, we were only looking forward, and now that we're getting ready to leave, I find myself unable to tear my gaze away from the rear-view mirror. A couple more weeks, and I hope I'll be ready to embrace the new view.

posted by 125records @ 6:01 PM

5 Comments:

At 7:17 PM, Josh said…

My goodness, a house! Where's the new spot -- are you leaving ye Bay Area?
At 7:48 PM, editrix said…

Congratulations -- how exciting! As arduous and draining as moving is, it's also an opportunity for a clean slate: Why not put some pretty paper in the kitchen drawers? And it affords the perfect climate for getting-rid-of and decluttering. Yay!

Looking forward to hearing more about your new home. I bet Hobie will adore having his very own yard to rule!

(Um -- is the captcha intentionally "hobydg," or is that a fantastic coincidence?)
At 8:09 PM, 125records said…

Josh: Never -- we're moving a grand total of 10 miles.

Amy: That is indeed a very astonishing coincidence! I don't think blogger lets you write your own captchas! Otherwise I might also come up with, say, "pvmt4evr," "colbrtrulz" and "foobivrs."
At 9:05 AM, Paula said…

Hey, congrats--I don't think I'd heard that you were moving to a house! That's exciting. At the same time, I totally understand both the stress of moving and the sadness of leaving a place. Mazel tov and sending good moving vibes.
At 8:16 AM, yellojkt said…

My only gripe with apartments (and condos) is having someone living over me. I just don't like those late night noises.

Tell us all about the new house.