The Conical Glass: Escaping their clutches

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Escaping their clutches

I graduated from college many years ago, and seldom stop to reflect on the time I spent at the august institution. My happiest memories of college center around my involvement with the student-run radio station, which was cruelly taken from us sometime after my sophomore year and turned into a big-league NPR outlet. On the whole, though, I'm in the small minority of people who had a better time in high school than I did in college.

As all college graduates know, once you receive your degree, your alma mater will stop at nothing to keep tabs on you. I have moved a bunch of times since my graduation, and always, the newsletters, fundraising pitches, and flyers featuring logo gift items have found me. This time, however, I think I have outwitted them. A few years ago, I contacted the alumni office and requested a change of address to my PO box. When we moved last fall, I kept my old PO box open for a few months, and in the interim, instead of filing a change of address, I made sure everyone I wanted to continue getting mail from was given my new PO box. This did not include the college. I feel slightly sorry for the new boxholder of POB 6133, because they'll probably keep getting my invitations to homecoming and alumni events. But I always threw that stuff in the recycling bin, and I suppose they can too.

Dear JHU, it's not you, it's me. I have moved on -- literally, over 3,000 miles away. You are part of my past. I'll remember the good times spinning Minor Threat 45s in the dormitory basement, but it's all over now. You got what seemed at the time like a staggeringly huge amount of money out of my parents, and I'm not planning to give you any more, ever, so let's just make a clean break.

Of course, knowing the crafty way they work, it wouldn't amaze me to find an invitation to join the alumni association in my mail someday. They don't give up easily.

posted by 125records @ 10:57 PM

2 Comments:

At 4:37 AM, jfruh said…

I'm constanly amazed at UC Berkeley's ability to track me down, considering that (a) I've moved twice since last I told them where my address was and never once filed a change of address with the Post Office, and (b) was only a grad-student drop-out there. I did join the alumni association after I left, because for $50 a year I got library access, so maybe they got the scent of money in their nose and now will never let go.

Cornell, which I think of as my actual alma mater, seems to neither know nor care about my whereabouts. Boo hoo!

Josh
At 7:10 AM, James said…

I can relate: I never contribute to Western Michigan University's alumni association, although they keep trying to squeeze me. I see it this way: I spent four years there as an undergrad and did one year of graduate school, which cost a lot of money (although certainly only a fraction of what it would cost today). Then I went back there and taught part-time for seven years and, eventually, the university paid me back all the money I ever spent there. I got something, they got something and the money more or less balanced itself out. Let's call it even, shall we?