The Conical Glass: Ready for the scrapheap

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Ready for the scrapheap

This is slightly embarrassing, but it goes to show what a drooling "Indiana Jones" fangirl I am: I had read that the trailer to the upcoming "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" was playing before "Iron Man," so I actually brought my iPod to the theater so I could close my eyes and play loud music during the trailer because I was afraid of spoilers. I don't want to know anything about the movie before it unspools onscreen in 3 weeks. I want to be surprised, just as I was when I saw the original "Indiana Jones" movie many years ago. I may not be a kid anymore, but I still have a childlike enthusiasm when it comes to this series. (Of course, I don't want to get too excited... as one blogger of my acquaintance pointed out, "I do have three words of warning we should all keep in mind. Star. Wars. Prequels.")

[Warning! Warning! Warning! If you are planning to see "Iron Man" and don't want to know anything about the movie's plot points, stop reading now.]

Anyway, I agreed to go with Joe to see "Iron Man" because it had gotten a lot of rave reviews ("Cartoon thrills for thinking people!"), but after seeing it, I honestly think I'm done with the whole comic book movie genre. I am so obviously not the target audience for "Iron Man." It's a movie for 14-year-old boys who are impressed with girls, guns and gadgetry. Seriously, the first hour of the movie is about a guy building a robotic suit, and the second hour of the movie is about a guy perfecting the suit. Ho-hum. Yes, Robert Downey Jr. does a nice job sending up his pre-rehab/jail reputation, but in the end the movie is just one guy in a CGI robotic suit fighting another guy in a CGI robotic suit, and I'm thinking maybe I should have gone into the city to see "a film that uses indigenous nonprofessional actors to tell a simple but transcendent story of daily life" instead.

I Sit Through The Credits So You Don't Have To: If you liked the movie, you really should stay for the credits because at the very, very end, the filmmakers include a scene setting up the sequel. I mean, wild horses couldn't get me into the theater for "Iron Man II," but there it is.

posted by 125records @ 3:24 PM

6 Comments:

At 9:18 PM, Cindy said…

For someone who is sensitive to spoilers, you sure posted a lot of them -- about a movie you've already seen but that others haven't yet.

Could you add a note at the start of your post to alert those who plan to see "Iron Man"? That would be kind. Thanks.
At 9:23 PM, 125records said…

Hey, the movie made over $100 million this weekend, which means that everyone's seen it!

Seriously, I didn't really realize there were any spoilers in my write-up, since the whole "man builds metal suit" issue seemed pretty well covered in the movie's advertising, but OK.
At 10:01 PM, Buck Turgidson said…

Spoilers??? For IRON MAN????? You must be joking, seriously. Thanks, Sue, because I've been through with the whole comic book movie business for quite a while and I also saw that "...for thinking people" blurg and thought hmm...maybe. But I've heard from a lot of folks that apparently "thinking people" means something different than what I would expect. I'm gonna save my dough and spend it on "Redbelt" instead. ;-)
At 5:30 AM, yellojkt said…

Man builds metal suit was covered in THE TITLE. My son saw it and liked it. My wife doesn't even pretend to tolerate comic book movies anyways. I always saw Tony Stark as a drunk Bruce Wayne, so it's not a big deal to me.

Indiana Jones is a must see. Some of the green screen in the preview looked pretty cheesy and has me nervous.
At 7:01 AM, flasshe said…

I saw Iron Man yesterday also, and I disagree with your review. Here's my take.
At 8:39 PM, James said…

Go straight to Travelocity or Orbitz or whatever and book yourself a ticket to Grand Rapids for late next week: The CRYSTAL SKULL press screening is just around the corner and I think I could get you a seat! I'm with you: I have refused to read anything about the film, aside from the little one-line synopsis that I used to compile the annual summer movie preview. I refused to even open the Entertainment Weekly issue with Harrison on the cover because I don't want to know anything until I see the actual film. And, by the way, I didn't think you "spoiled" IRON MAN at all. What's next? Someone complaining that you spoiled MAMMA MIA! by revealing that Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan are singing ABBA songs?