| Tuesday, August 19, 2008 |
| Stockholm Diary #11: City/Country |
I sometimes wonder if my destiny was sealed on the day I was born right here in Östermalm, Stockholm -- I came into the world as a city girl, and from a frighteningly young age, I knew that I wanted to grow up and live in a big urban area someday. And indeed, when I'm not on the road, I live right between two of them (Oakland and San Francisco).
The first place I ever lived: Pilgatan 11, Stockholm
But when I was growing up, most of the time I spent in Sweden wasn't in Stockholm; it was in Skåpafors, where my grandparents lived, a tiny (current pop.: 313, according to Wikipedia) town in the western province of Dalsland, near the Norwegian border. Dalsland is kind of like the North Dakota of Sweden; most people have heard of it and are pretty certain that it exists, but couldn't name anyone in their circle of friends who's actually been there. Some people may confuse it with the similar-sounding Dalarna, home of the Dalahäst and a much more well-known province.
I've probably spent a year or so of my life, total, in Skåpafors. Whenever I go back, which I don't do terribly often (the last time I was there was in 2001), I am overwhelmed with a feeling of the impermanence of life: almost everyone I used to know there is dead. My grandparents died years ago; their three children, including my mother, still own the family home. The neighbors along Ekbacksvägen we used to visit are all gone now. When I was there 7 years ago, both of the next-door neighbors, Olga and Rune, were elderly but still alive. Now their house stands vacant and sad, a slap in the face to the once-meticulous owners; they left no heirs, so the home was left to a charity, which has yet to put it on the market. With no maintenance, I doubt it can survive another winter. I walked around it, remembering all of the cookies and Pommac soda I consumed there as a child, how Olga used to save months' worth of magazines for me so I could solve the crossword puzzles, the frantic barking of their dachshunds, which always seemed to be named Ginny and Nicke even when old ones passed and new ones came along.
On this trip, Joe and I stayed in the outbuilding where my grandparents always used to live when my family was visiting. There's no indoor plumbing there, so when I woke up early in the morning and needed to use the loo, I had to run across the gravel to the main house. When my mom was born, there wasn't indoor plumbing at all; there was an outhouse that used to be cleaned and maintained by a man with no sense of smell, making him the perfect person for the job.
I was able to check my mail once a day using the incredibly slow dial-up internet; it's strictly a cost-saving thing, since the house is unoccupied so much of the time. The young neighbor on the other side (whose house didn't even exist when I was a kid) has a satellite dish and high-speed everything. At night, Joe and I would watch episodes of "The Colbert Report" on our laptop, downloaded from iTunes before we left Stockholm. Things have changed, all right; back in the 70s, to be in Skåpafors was to be cut off from the world. If I wanted to stay in touch with friends back in the U.S., we had to do it via the mail. Michigan, and even Stockholm, felt a million miles away.
Joe and I spent the weekend in Skåpafors to help celebrate my dad's birthday; we were only there for 72 hours or so, but when we arrived back in Stockholm's central station right around rush hour last night, headlong into the overwhelming crush of people, it felt like a relief. That return has always felt that way, my whole life. Paradoxically, I've learned that if you're a loner at heart, it's much easier to live in a city of 2 million than in a town of 300.
Today, it wasn't raining, for a change, and I spent the afternoon walking around the Kungsholmen neighborhood of Stockholm, the neighborhood where I spent the first few months of my life. Kungsholmens church was open, with a sign inviting passers-by to stop in. I went inside and dropped 5 kronor in the metal collection box to purchase a candle. I lit it in honor of everyone in Skåpafors who has passed away. |
posted by 125records @ 10:47 AM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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A beautiful story -- I'm sure I would have the same feelings if I visited my childhood home in Columbus. Most of our neighbors there were elderly when we lived there and I'm sure they are long gone. The house we lived in would be about 100 years old now; that's hard to imagine!
I was curious if you'd heard anything about these Swedish films that are scheduled to be shown in Toronto. One is titled EVERLASTING MOMENTS (no Swedish title available, I guess) and features Jesper Christensen, Mikael Persbrandt and Amanda Ooms; the director is Jan Troell. Here's the synopsis: "In Sweden in the early 1900s – in a time of social change and unrest, of war and poverty - the young working class woman Maria wins a camera in a lottery, and decides to keep it – a decision which alters her whole life. The camera enables Maria to see the world through new eyes, but it also becomes a threat to her somewhat alcoholic womanizer of a husband, as it brings the charming photographer “Piff Paff Puff” into her life." Hmmm...
Then there's FEAR ME NOT, which sounds quite interesting: "When Michael hears about a clinical trial for a new anti-depressant, he signs up on a whim. Unfortunately, the pills turn out to have serious side effects and the trial is abandoned. Michael refuses to give up his new-found sense of calm and self control which the pills have provided, so decides to continue the experiment on his own. Intoxicated by his immediate success, Michael feels an urge to take control of other people’s lives as well. Slowly, his psychological games grow more drastic, until Michael makes a discovery. which forces him to view his actions in a terrifying new light." The stars are Ulrich Thomsen, Paprika Steen, Lars Brygmann and Stine Stengade, and the director is Kristian Levring.
They both press-screen on Friday, Sept. 5, so I could make it a Very Swedish Friday, I suppose. Enjoy the rest of your trip!
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Thank you for a very nice story! It's been a long time since I last visited "Skaapa", things have really changed... I remember Olga and Rune, their constantly barking dogs, and all the cake and cookies she used to offer whenever we came to visist! I hope they're able to sell the house in a not to distant future.
Hope you're all having a good time in Sweden! I'm currently backpacking around South East asia, in Thailand at the moment.
A note to your friend james:
Fear me not / Den du frygter (Danish) is a Danish film.
Everlasting moments / Maria Larssons evige øjeblik (again a Danish title) is a Swedish-Danish coprodcution.
Albin Stigo
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A beautiful story -- I'm sure I would have the same feelings if I visited my childhood home in Columbus. Most of our neighbors there were elderly when we lived there and I'm sure they are long gone. The house we lived in would be about 100 years old now; that's hard to imagine!
I was curious if you'd heard anything about these Swedish films that are scheduled to be shown in Toronto. One is titled EVERLASTING MOMENTS (no Swedish title available, I guess) and features Jesper Christensen, Mikael Persbrandt and Amanda Ooms; the director is Jan Troell. Here's the synopsis: "In Sweden in the early 1900s – in a time of social change and unrest, of war and poverty - the young working class woman Maria wins a camera in a lottery, and decides to keep it – a decision which alters her whole life. The camera enables Maria to see the world through new eyes, but it also becomes a threat to her somewhat alcoholic womanizer of a husband, as it brings the charming photographer “Piff Paff Puff” into her life." Hmmm...
Then there's FEAR ME NOT, which sounds quite interesting: "When Michael hears about a clinical trial for a new anti-depressant, he signs up on a whim. Unfortunately, the pills turn out to have serious side effects and the trial is abandoned. Michael refuses to give up his new-found sense of calm and self control which the pills have provided, so decides to continue the experiment on his own. Intoxicated by his immediate success, Michael feels an urge to take control of other people’s lives as well. Slowly, his psychological games grow more drastic, until Michael makes a discovery. which forces him to view his actions in a terrifying new light." The stars are Ulrich Thomsen, Paprika Steen, Lars Brygmann and Stine Stengade, and the director is Kristian Levring.
They both press-screen on Friday, Sept. 5, so I could make it a Very Swedish Friday, I suppose. Enjoy the rest of your trip!