| Saturday, December 06, 2008 |
| Checking out |
I heard an interview with the founders of the Philadelphia Complaint Choir -- if you're not familiar with the global phenomenon of complaint choirs, here's a primer -- and I had two thoughts. One, I'm amazed that my city doesn't have its own complaint choir, since I live in perhaps the complainingest town in the Bay Area. Two, blogs collectively function as sort of a complaint choir, don't they? Some even feature Pet Peeves of the Day!
Heaven knows, this blog is usually chock full o'complaints.
I don't like it when my birthday falls on Thanksgiving
I hate it when my car breaks down
Even though it was fixed for free
Yesterday I got a flat tire
It couldn't be repaired and I had to buy a new one
Woe is me...
When something annoying happens, one of my first thoughts is always, "Oh, I'll have to write something about this." A couple days ago, for instance, I tried to deposit a check from one of my clients in the downtown Wells Fargo ATM I always use. It used to be that when you deposited checks, you put them all in an envelope, wrote down the total, and then fed the envelope into the machine. A while back, though, Wells Fargo switched to an envelope-free system. Now you put the checks in and it scans them and adds up the total for you. It works great, except when it doesn't. My client had sent me a check featuring a Howard Fogg train painting. Now, I have nothing against train art, but the trouble is that the painting was reproduced in such a way that the writing on the check was not read by the scanner, and the ATM spit it back out declaring it invalid. The ATM I use is just on the side of a drugstore, there's no bank there, so now I have to go out of my way to go inside a bank and hand the check to a teller. See how I suffer!
Checks these days aren't just a means of payment -- they are supposed to "reflect your unique style"! You can order checks that feature Anne Geddes babies, wild animal prints ("Let the animal inside you loose!"), Bugs Bunny, or Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh? What, are they giving checking accounts to six-year-olds now?
Perhaps because I'm a banker's daughter, I shun the frivolous and use a very staid check pattern. I also pay almost all of my bills electronically now, so I don't use checks all that often. Therefore, I am still using checks I bought when we lived at our old address. I just cross it out. I have about 100 checks left, so I suspect I'll be crossing out my old address well into 2010.
If you do use checks to pay for, say, your rent, mortgage or property taxes, isn't it a tiny bit embarrassing to send in an Ariel "Little Mermaid" check? Can you use a breast cancer awareness check if you're sending a donation to the World Wildlife Fund, or will they be upset that you didn't use their branded checks? Will your team leader at Weight Watchers look at you askance if you pay your fees with Chocolate Checks? Will anyone ever take you seriously again if you use Dogs Playing Poker Checks? (Yes, there are also checks featuring conical glasses, but I don't particularly want to use a check that might send the message, "I'm a lush!")
I received two more checks in today's mail -- one of them is the always-classic Blue Safety, the other a barely-there pattern called Specialty Gray. The ATM will not have any problem swallowing those!
Bonus Complaint: People who say "ATM machines." Which amounts to "automatic teller machine machines."
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posted by 125records @ 2:26 PM  |
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| 8 Comments: |
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I think I only write checks these days to my hairstylist, to the crew doing our remodeling, and to people I owe money to.
As to redundant abbreviations: you need to know your PIN number to use the ATM machine, and it's especially frustrating if you're in a hurry and it delays your estimated ETA someplace you need to get to - like if you're trying to register your car and can't remember the VIN number. It probably isn't much help to them that you know the car is red in color.
You could then go home and fix a meal of tuna fish and salsa sauce.
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And chili con carne with meat (actual packaging from childhood, perhaps Hormel?).
We have African American heritage checks from Message! Products, featuring the like of Marcus Garvey and Frederick Douglass, and I'm cool with that.
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I think when I reorder checks, I'll get the NORML checks from Message! Products, just to freak people out. (Note to my parents, who read this blog and follow the comments: no, I don't smoke pot, but wouldn't that make it even funnier?)
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p.s. I love the African American Heritage Checks. They certainly wouldn't cause an ATM machine (ha ha) to choke. Wouldn't B. like it if you got train checks, though?
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I think Winnie the Pooh checks would be fun, Eeyore would be even better. They would certainly be better than that stupid stage coach on mine now.
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We write about four checks a month nowadays. I don't even remember what is on them.
And I argue that ATM and PIN are adjectives modifying machine and number. And I also follow the meetings of OPEC countries.
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You can keep up with the Philly Complaint Choir here: http://complaints.firstpersonarts.org
Thanks for posting about us, and you should organize one in the Bay Area. It's really not too difficult, and the payoff is fantastic.
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I just wrote a check to the yard guy and was shocked at the demise of my penmanship...beginning to worry i'll need to go back to 3rd grade and practice cursive over and over...tho as an adult I've gotten very adept at cursing. Doubt Mrs. Quint would be impressed.
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Name: Sue
Home: San Francisco Bay Area, California, United States
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I think I only write checks these days to my hairstylist, to the crew doing our remodeling, and to people I owe money to.
As to redundant abbreviations: you need to know your PIN number to use the ATM machine, and it's especially frustrating if you're in a hurry and it delays your estimated ETA someplace you need to get to - like if you're trying to register your car and can't remember the VIN number. It probably isn't much help to them that you know the car is red in color.
You could then go home and fix a meal of tuna fish and salsa sauce.